04 May 2008


FAMILY!!! – RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! --- Fear – abandonment - lies – secrets – masks --- some of the things that the red flags and deafening alarm bells in my head represented when the word came out of nowhere and “bitch-slapped” me upside the head. Having gained a modicum of skill at stepping back from the knee-jerk reaction it elicited, I know now that’s it’s just a word after all, isn’t it? Being where I am and who I am in the moment allows me the freedom to define it to my liking. I choose now for it to mean a group of people that I have deliberately opted to include in my life with whom I can be just myself – people with whom I can feel safe, who accept me with no strings attached, no lofty ideals or expectations for me to fulfill for them. There are but a few of them, but they can be trusted with my fragile essence. They are not toxic for me; rather, they are nurturing, supportive and provide that unconditional acceptance that is one of my most basic needs. Biology has been usurped by preference and personal selection, family in-law ousted by a penchant for true respect as opposed to feigned obligation. My family of choice loves me on good days and bad, is respectful of my space and my opinions --- and while they mightn't always agree with them, they do recognize my right to hold those personal views. This small chosen family group has no need to make an effort to invalidate me or re-arrange my thoughts to avoid possible embarrassment to themselves. My family is loving, respectful, and kind. My family values me for the person that I am. My family stands ready at any time, day or night, to be available for me in every way. My family is a gift which I’ve been fortunate to be able to choose from a wish book over time. My family is a blessing!!! Perhaps it will grow over time – this type of pregnancy is most usually an unplanned event and the time to parturition is considerably variable. Que-sera,sera.


Mary Beth said...

Having those types of people around you is so important, whether it's the family you're born into or the one you choose. We all need the support, regardless of how independent we like to think we are:)

Tanya Gwen Minnick said...

Looking great Danni :) and well said...family is sometimes what we make it :) made up by those we choose.

TD said...

Family, how sweet it is. Thank You and good night Danni Boy! May the stars rise above you and the soft evening air blanket you in sleep. A hug from someone who cares, talk to you soon, much to catch up on. TD