the whole thing started out as an unwelcome nuisance when dori felt that unmistakable sensation - yoyo walked across the top of her head --- she had spent the better part of three hours clutching her husband’s shirt, sobbing and gulping and soothing herself into a blessed state of stuporous sleep, and the experience of being rudely wakened by the the cat and going through all the grief again ground her off --- she remained inert like the blob she felt herself to be, all the while fighting back another meltdown – played possum waiting to see what the feline’s next move might be --- WOOWOOWOO!!! - the tv was suddenly alive and well and going strong – harebrained little fur ball had made her next move by stepping on the remote that dori kept beside her on a pillow with her glasses – well, shit! – no more playing possum now, but dori was damned! if she was about to get up and do kitty things for yoyo ---
resentfully, she rolled over to that special pillow which once had cradled her love’s head - a pillow now relegated to the status of a pseudo bed mate and a shelf of sorts – bleary eyed and fuzzy headed, she reached for the remote, at the same time glaring in the direction of the electronic wonder with a baleful eye --- OMIGAWD!!! – WIDE AWAKE NOW!!! --- SHIT-DAMN-BUGGER-BITCH-BUGGER-BITCH-DAMN!!!!! --- WHAT THE FUCK???
dori had been watching “house”, one of her faves, when she had shut the thing off, and everything had been just sweet, peachy-keen, swell, hunky-dory --- now the screen was adrift in newspaper tinted snow and there was a bizarre wide ovoid dark shape in the middle – and the sound was waaaaay beyond WONKY! --- a strange garbled sort of speech pattern – WARP TALK!!! – was making its way out into the bedroom and mesmerizing her with its mystical quality --- she felt like alice gone down the famous hole momentarily, then reasoned that there must be poor weather or some other perfectly natural reason for channel 42 to have had a psychotic break, so she popped the button and turned the poor sucker off -
just as she was fwumping! back over to resettle herself, she espied yoyo sound dead asleep on the foot of the bed on the far side --- so out of it in fact, that she was in dream quivers – sprawled on her back with her little paws going six ways for sunday --- dori was pretty much awake now and it began to dawn on her that yoyo had a whole routine for flaking out – it was lick-lick-lick, turn around in a circle and flop, repeat a couple or three times, and finally doze off all curled up and cozy, and by the time she got to quivers and flat on her back she had been asleep a mighty good long time --- the pieces all began to fall into place – chink! chink! chink! – like the end of a jigsaw puzzle finishing itself --- yoyo had been asleep all along, never had walked on her head and disturbed her --- a quick glance at the clock told her it was 5:15 in the morning – she ZAPPED! that tv back on in short order and waited an eternity of heartbeats for it to come to life --- when it did it was plain old everyday channel 42, and she crumbled like a dresden doll annihilated with a sledge hammer --- she felt the burning tide rise behind her eyes and begin to run riot down her face, and that familiar painful lump choking off her breathing, the precursors of the sobbing and gulping misery --- she blew it - had a chance and she blew it! --- STUPID!!!
when he had died it had been 5:30 in the morning – every day she wished on the stars, prayed and hoped that there would be something, some sign or a message that they were still connected despite her loss --- and now months later this spontaneous and inexplicable vision on the television – had she been more with it, she woulda – coulda – shoulda not turned it off when she did --- the very thought that this was a message, answer for her most profound longing to feel reconnected comforted dori --- next time ......