26 June 2008

sunday scribblings #117 - vision


channel 42

the whole thing started out as an unwelcome nuisance when dori felt that unmistakable sensation - yoyo walked across the top of her head --- she had spent the better part of three hours clutching her husband’s shirt, sobbing and gulping and soothing herself into a blessed state of stuporous sleep, and the experience of being rudely wakened by the the cat and going through all the grief again ground her off --- she remained inert like the blob she felt herself to be, all the while fighting back another meltdown – played possum waiting to see what the feline’s next move might be --- WOOWOOWOO!!! - the tv was suddenly alive and well and going strong – harebrained little fur ball had made her next move by stepping on the remote that dori kept beside her on a pillow with her glasses – well, shit! – no more playing possum now, but dori was damned! if she was about to get up and do kitty things for yoyo ---

resentfully, she rolled over to that special pillow which once had cradled her love’s head - a pillow now relegated to the status of a pseudo bed mate and a shelf of sorts – bleary eyed and fuzzy headed, she reached for the remote, at the same time glaring in the direction of the electronic wonder with a baleful eye --- OMIGAWD!!! – WIDE AWAKE NOW!!! --- SHIT-DAMN-BUGGER-BITCH-BUGGER-BITCH-DAMN!!!!! --- WHAT THE FUCK???

dori had been watching “house”, one of her faves, when she had shut the thing off, and everything had been just sweet, peachy-keen, swell, hunky-dory --- now the screen was adrift in newspaper tinted snow and there was a bizarre wide ovoid dark shape in the middle – and the sound was waaaaay beyond WONKY! --- a strange garbled sort of speech pattern – WARP TALK!!! – was making its way out into the bedroom and mesmerizing her with its mystical quality --- she felt like alice gone down the famous hole momentarily, then reasoned that there must be poor weather or some other perfectly natural reason for channel 42 to have had a psychotic break, so she popped the button and turned the poor sucker off -

just as she was fwumping! back over to resettle herself, she espied yoyo sound dead asleep on the foot of the bed on the far side --- so out of it in fact, that she was in dream quivers – sprawled on her back with her little paws going six ways for sunday --- dori was pretty much awake now and it began to dawn on her that yoyo had a whole routine for flaking out – it was lick-lick-lick, turn around in a circle and flop, repeat a couple or three times, and finally doze off all curled up and cozy, and by the time she got to quivers and flat on her back she had been asleep a mighty good long time --- the pieces all began to fall into place – chink! chink! chink! – like the end of a jigsaw puzzle finishing itself --- yoyo had been asleep all along, never had walked on her head and disturbed her --- a quick glance at the clock told her it was 5:15 in the morning – she ZAPPED! that tv back on in short order and waited an eternity of heartbeats for it to come to life --- when it did it was plain old everyday channel 42, and she crumbled like a dresden doll annihilated with a sledge hammer --- she felt the burning tide rise behind her eyes and begin to run riot down her face, and that familiar painful lump choking off her breathing, the precursors of the sobbing and gulping misery --- she blew it - had a chance and she blew it! --- STUPID!!!




when he had died it had been 5:30 in the morning – every day she wished on the stars, prayed and hoped that there would be something, some sign or a message that they were still connected despite her loss --- and now months later this spontaneous and inexplicable vision on the television – had she been more with it, she woulda – coulda – shoulda not turned it off when she did --- the very thought that this was a message, answer for her most profound longing to feel reconnected comforted dori --- next time ......




17 comments:

Granny Smith said...

A moving story about the sought-for vision that may or may not have come. It kept me riveted to the screen - and still guessing.

You have great writing skill,

frizzy scissorhands said...

i felt the yearning .... of loss in this piece. indeed, next time ...

totomai said...

so sad. liked how the story unfolds... definitely, next time..

Tanya Gwen Minnick said...

Danni, I loved this story when you first told me and I love it now too. You know what I think of this little magickal moment :) but again, you share it beautifuly.
hugs
t

Devil Mood said...

Danni, your story is LOUD, full of sensations, well written!

Surya, the Ayrus! said...

i would read your this post.am in a bit of a hurry now... dropped in to say thanks for your comment:) and read somewhere in your profile, you are a sun worshipper?? wel my name Surya, in Hindi means The Sun:):) will revisit ya soon:)

Leonard Blumfeld said...

Intense and moving!

anthonynorth said...

This was a cracking tale. Pacy and well written. You held me right to the end.

Michelle said...

I loved this! At some point I became Dori... thinking of my best friend and lover... how I would ache for him if he were to go before me. And to miss an opportunity to connect one last time...heartbreaking!

rebecca said...

this is the second time i've come to read this....i loved it.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I love your voice in this one, Danni. It's on the verge of hysteria but not really, is it sane, is it this, is it that what is it other than mesmerizing, and does it matter?

Well, yeah, it matters. It's what makes this piece.

Rock on, sisterfriend.

alister said...

Man, you have a way of gripping the English language, setting it up and making it mind! Lot’s of great stuff, well-oiled and spiced: unwinding the tale with kitty antics, the baleful eye, newspaper-tinted snow; the turning point, the miserably straight-laced reasoning we earthlings are plagued by; the oh-shit revelation chinks and the shot-down Dresden doll; and ah, at least the saving grace ending, she’ll be ready next time. I majorly enjoyed this.
missalister

SusieJ said...

You held me all the way through to the end. Great story.

Tammy said...

Danni, this is my kind of story, I enjoyed it. I love the idea of getting or sending a message. Yoyo...awww!

arboleda said...

ah..coincidences!

b said...

When he was gone and she woke in the middle of the night with him sitting on the end of the bed, was it a dream. I think not. Really!

b

CHEFDRUCK said...

So sad, so tragic. You really feel her grief. Well written!