03 August 2008

sunday scribblings - #122 -- do i have to?

breaking free

i was torn between my fiction piece and just thinking out loud when i saw this weeks prompt --- now that i find i have some extra time, i’m going to try thinking and sending my thoughts through my fingers to the keyboard ---
my personal point of view on whether i “HAVE TO” do some thing or another immediately hurdled beyond daily chores and tedium to what are more important life choices for me, and how my answers have been changing over the years as i’ve grown and matured ---
there was a time when i would turn myself inside out and hyper extend my spirit to please people – it was much more than just “going along to get along”, more like such a deeply ingrained habit that i had no boundary or sense of self – i did so many things that i wanted no part of, just bowed down with the weight of obligation and a weird sense of duty ---
then i came to a place in my journey where i was able to realize anew something i had known all along but seemed to have lost track of --- we were all created and given the gift of free will – none of us “HAVE TO” do anything, nobody can "MAKE" us - it's all a matter of personal choice ---
i found the place where i could clearly define the shoulds and the oughts, the prefers and the rathers, and begin to exercise that God given endowment of free will and self-government ---
there was an excruciating sense of freedom that came with this epiphany, and as i began to use it more and more, i got better and better at discerning situations – i was free to send regrets without excuses or explanations to a social event that someone else thought I SHOULD attend, and instead do the thing which I CHOSE to do --- i was free to decline affection in the form of a hug, a “habit” hug given by someone with whom i was not in the least intimate, free to speak up for myself tactfully when i needed to, free to do or not do what i chose and not what was expected, because deep inside i must give myself what i truly need in order to remain healthy, whole, and to love myself ---
i guess a lot of it comes down to my own value system, behaviour code, ethics, morals – name it what you like – but the bottom line for me is respecting others and being true to myself at the same time --- not a case of “DO I HAVE TO?”

url image - http://images.elfwood.com/art/g/b/gbowden/breaking_free.jpg.rZd.224139.jpg


forgetfulone said...

Interesting observations about life and choices. I enjoyed your thoughts on the topic. When you get right down to it, everything is a choice, isn't it? When we realize that, it is free-ing.

Remiman said...

I agree. Realizing we have a choice makes all the difference.

Michelle said...

You are absolutely right - we have God-given right to a free will! We have choices to do what we feel is right even if that means we offend people who think otherwise.
Great post!

Goddess Diana said...

Thanks for stopping by.

Thank you for sharing. I love how you express yourself and your journey.

You are definitely on the right path, Goddess Danni.

As for balance, it is a teeter totter. Sometimes high, sometimes low. However, when you know yourself and are true to yourself - it makes it easier to sit in the middle and enjoy the ride. Tee hee!!!

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana

Devil Mood said...

I really hope I get to discern that with experience. Right now, I try to do my own thing but the guilt is there...lurking and pinching me ;)

Tanya Gwen Minnick said...

Very glad to hear the transformations that have taken place along your journey.
I saw with my own eyes this week, you jump into my craft and paint pile and do it because you wanted to...NOT because you HAD to! and Danni - it was beautiful!


I like the place you describe - where you can clearly describe the shoulds and the oughts and focus on the prefers and the rathers. It's nice to realize you're there.